When I get older

I will be stronger

They’ll call me freedom

Just like a wavin’ flag

~ K’Naan

Silas Freedom is five years old now.

There is no baby left in this one.  This is Si’s world, & we live in it.  He is wicked smart, much like his dad.  He is a bit rebellious, much like his mom.  He challenges me, daily.  He challenges me to be a better mother, to find more energy, to find more patience, to think outside of the box.

He is fascinating.  His wants the answers, Mom, who made the world?.  He wants the truth, Mom, I don’t think Santa is really real.  He lusts for life, Mom, I can’t wait to jump out of an airplane someday.

Silas wanted a dinosaur birthday.  Paul & I were busy all last week turning this…

Into this…

Paul also made an instrument of war for Silas…

Doesn’t every five-year old with almost no impulse control need a catapult?  The catapult was my actually my idea.  Possibly one of my worst ideas yet.  Look, it is difficult to balance Si’s need for destruction with my daughters’ safety.  No major injuries as of yet.

I have been a weepy mess over this birthday.  I just can’t believe that he is five years old.  When did it happen?  So quickly, too quickly.

Unlike my girls, Si had the luxury of being the only baby in our home when he was born.  He was properly doted upon.  I spent hours just gazing at his baby perfection.  I was able to really savor his babyhood, & I sometimes feel sad as it falls further into the past.

His pregnancy was peaceful.  His birth was real & perfect, he came storming into the world at nine pounds even.  He nursed like a champ.  Slept most nights.  Bold & full of joy.  There was nothing he would not eat & nothing he would not climb.  He gave smiles to anyone who looked his way.  Fat, happy, healthy, baby boy sweetness.

I can still feel his little knees & elbows inside, even then so busy.  I can still smell his sweet baby smell, nursed to sleep in my arms.  I can still see his big slobbery green grin as he discovered avocado.  I can still hear his sobs as he got those first stitches.

I love him so much.

His last few days as a four-year old…

What adventure will this year bring to Silas?  What will he discover?  Can I keep up???  I am quite certain that it will not be boring!  I am so lucky to live in his world.

Happy fifth, Silas Freedom.


One thought on “Five

  1. Just like the first day I read this, it brings tears to my eyes.

    So proud of you as a mother — you’re doing such an excellent job. Keep loving him to the moon, Kaye.

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